Shakespeare's star-crossed lovers, deep-fried in Troma's gutter: incest, cow monsters, and a happy ending.
Who drives the story
Poor, lovesick son of an alcoholic, working a tattoo parlor and burning for Rosie until Juliet rewires him. He kills for his friend, loses his home, and ends up a yuppie dad in New Jersey, sibling marriage notwithstanding.
Sequestered heiress caged by her father's control and satisfied by the servant Ness until Tromeo. She survives beatings, a cow-monster transformation, and her father's crossbow, then kills him with a computer monitor.
Abusive patriarch and secret porn mogul who pimps his daughter's marriage to build a mafia family tree. He dies by electrocution, monitor to skull, his empire ended by his own children.
Juliet's overprotective cousin, the film's Tybalt. He clubs Murray to death and is dismembered in the car crashes Tromeo uses to avenge him.
Tromeo's loyal friend from the tattoo parlor who gets him to the ball and then dies defending his honor against Tyrone's club. His death turns Tromeo into a killer.
The Prince of this Manhattan, warning families, evicting the Ques, then pardoning Tromeo once Cappy's criminal empire falls. Law here bends to whoever wins.
Wealthy meat tycoon engaged to Juliet against her will. He flees her cow-monster form out a window to his death, taking the meat inheritance with him.
The feuding parents who end the mystery: ex-spouses tied to the Silky Films porn company, with Ingrid's affair making Tromeo and Juliet half-siblings.
The secret-wedding priest turned co-conspirator, hiding Juliet and plotting with Tromeo to end the feud. In this version, the scheme works.
Also in the story
The Capulet family servant who keeps Juliet sexually satisfied inside the mansion, part caretaker, part symptom of how Cappy runs his house.
How they are connected
Poor, lovesick son of an alcoholic, working a tattoo parlor and burning for Rosie until Juliet rewires him.
Sequestered heiress caged by her father's control and satisfied by the servant Ness until Tromeo.
Juliet's overprotective cousin, the film's Tybalt.
He clubs Murray to death and is dismembered in the car crashes Tromeo uses to avenge him.
He clubs Murray to death and is dismembered in the car crashes Tromeo uses to avenge him.
Tromeo's loyal friend from the tattoo parlor who gets him to the ball and then dies defending his honor against Tyrone's club.
Detective Ernie ScalusTromeo Que
The Prince of this Manhattan, warning families, evicting the Ques, then pardoning Tromeo once Cappy's criminal empire falls.
Detective Ernie ScalusCappy Capulet
The Prince of this Manhattan, warning families, evicting the Ques, then pardoning Tromeo once Cappy's criminal empire falls.
Wealthy meat tycoon engaged to Juliet against her will.
Monty Que and Ingrid CapuletTromeo Que
The feuding parents who end the mystery: ex-spouses tied to the Silky Films porn company, with Ingrid's affair making Tromeo and Juliet half-siblings.
Monty Que and Ingrid CapuletJuliet Capulet
The feuding parents who end the mystery: ex-spouses tied to the Silky Films porn company, with Ingrid's affair making Tromeo and Juliet half-siblings.
The secret-wedding priest turned co-conspirator, hiding Juliet and plotting with Tromeo to end the feud.
Go deeper
Cages and control · Feuds built on filth · Love as transformation · Happy endings as heresy
Themes explainedThe full story act by act, the ending explained and a quick quiz.
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